I’ve spent the last several days reflecting on this past year and planning my goals for the new year. I strongly believe in reviewing what went well, where you feel stuck, and what you’d like to be different in the coming year. I love BEGINNINGS! They hold so much possibility.
I used to look at the new year as a time to finally get my act together. My goals were set from a negative mindset about all the things I needed to stop, rather things I wanted to add to my life to create the reality I desired.
In the past, perfectionism has always been my excuse. But that was really just a “pretty” way to keep me away from fear and an attempt to be loved and accepted by others. I thought perfectionism was an admirable trait, but now I know it’s really just an excuse that kept me from what I love, and kept me from growing. It kept me locked in the effort of continually striving without ever getting anywhere, because no matter how much progress I made, it was never good enough.
In 2014, I swapped perfectionism for self love. I know that I don’t have to change who I am to be loved or accepted by anyone. My worthiness is not tied to the approval of others, or my ability to make them happy.
My new goal is excellence. I know it’s a subtle shift from excellence to perfectionism, but the motive behind it is completely different for me. A desire for excellence comes from within me. I feel happy and proud of myself when I do things well. The motivation to be perfect came from the outside. It was due to a constant pressure I felt to do and achieve more to prove that I was worth loving. But there’s nothing to prove.
I don’t know why I didn’t realize that people love me no matter what. I don’t have to be perfect or prove anything, and neither do YOU!
I think it’s time we all resolve to love and accept ourselves exactly as we are. THIS moment is all that matters. Let go of the past and stop worrying about the future. Decide how you want to FEEL in this very moment, then do whatever it takes to achieve that. You are worth it, and, I finally know, that I am too.
What’s your excuse?
What’s your excuse for setting the same goals year after year?
As you’re setting goals this year, pay attention to the thoughts that come up for you. Write them down, then come up with a plan of action when they sneak their way back into your thoughts.
For example, let’s say you have a goal of running 3 times per week. Some excuses that might come up for you are it’s too cold, I’m too slow, and nobody will care of know if I miss a run so I can skip just this one time. Identifying those excuses ahead of time allows you to come up with a strategy to avoid them.
- When it’s too cold, you can run inside on a treadmill or do a workout video in your family room.
- Instead of focusing on how slow you are, focus on making, and celebrating incremental improvements by recording your time and distance each day.
- Instead of skipping a workout because nobody will know, join an accountability group where you have to check in daily.
If you really want to achieve your goals, you’ll design your life in a way that you’ll be able to achieve them. Instead, we often say we want to achieve a goal, but our actions prove otherwise. It really all comes down to CHOOSING to create a life that you love.
Anytime you notice yourself making excuses, stop and ask yourself if what you’re going after is really what you want. If it is, don’t make excuses. Create strategies for when they arise, and choose to make your life amazing.
