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Sublime Reflection

Sublime Reflection

How to Give Yourself Your Own Approval

I’ve spent most my life seeking approval from others.  For me, this looks like feeling anxiety, worrying, trying to please everyone, not taking time for myself, overworking, trying to be amazing, and avoiding things I’m not good at.

Sound exhausting?  It is.

I’m learning that I need to have my own back, give myself approval, and ultimately learn to like myself (whether I achieve something or not.) It’s not easy, and I’m getting coaching to help.

Strategies I’m Using to Like Myself 

1) Keep a Self-Reflection Journal

A few times a week, I write the things I’m most proud of. Choices I’ve made.  Insights I’ve learned.  Things I like about myself.  Times I’ve had my own back and stayed true to myself and what I need.

2) Let go of seeking validation from others

This means noticing my thoughts, feelings, and actions.  When I notice I’m doing something because I want to influence how someone else sees me, I take a step back to check in with myself and make sure I’m doing things I really want to do, and for the right reasons.

3) Say yes, or no, and mean it!

Make decisions based on what is best for me, not just because I want someone to like me.  Saying no is always okay.  You might have to feel a few seconds of discomfort, but that’s much better than saying yes and feeling resentful later.

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”  –Brené Brown

4) Do things I’m not already good at

I’ve spent my entire life only doing things I’m already good at.  While that feels safe, it doesn’t provide a whole lot of room for growth.  I’m slowly building confidence by doing things even when I’m not very good at them.  The worst that can happen is a feeling, and I’m learning that I can handle any feeling.

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Kimberly Job is a Certified Life Coach, author, and mother of TEN! She's passionate about journaling, self love, personal growth and helping you put yourself at the top of your to do list.

A belief is simply a thought you’ve practiced ov A belief is simply a thought you’ve practiced over and over.

So to believe something new, you have to practice a new thought over and over.

This is the thought I’m practicing in February.

My default thought is “Today is going to be hard.” I’d much rather believe today is going to be fun.

I know I have a lot of coaches who follow me, so chime in with your favorite way to practice a new thought in the comments below.

#lifecoach #thoughtwork #chooseyourbeliefs
My #morningroutine box. I love my morning routine My #morningroutine box.

I love my morning routine so much that I could easily spend 3 hours every morning, if I had the time.

But I don’t—you know job, kids, adulting and such.

So I put all my options in this box, set my timer for one hour, and choose a few things to do.

This morning that looked like:
✔️12WT Audio Coaching
✔️5 Little Lines Journal
✔️Identity Journal
✔️Scriptures
✔️Probiotic & Energy+
✔️Marco Polo Coaching Groups

What do you include in your morning routine?
Truth. You’ve got this. #happymonday Truth. You’ve got this. #happymonday
I made a goal to read 100 books this year. This is I made a goal to read 100 books this year. This is #3 and I’m loving it so far.

I had a totally new insight about what it means to be my “higher” best self.

I’ve always thought of my higher self as my spirit self, my eternal self, the part of me that existed before I was born.

This book suggest that your higher best self is that part of you combined with all the wisdom you’ve gained from the trials you’ve experienced here on earth.

It’s not someone you aspire to be someday. It’s who you are right now.

What are you reading right now?
I heard a quote this morning from @joelosteen. "Wh I heard a quote this morning from @joelosteen. "Whatever follows I am... is going to come looking for you."⁣
⁣
𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈 𝐚𝐦.⁣
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Do you say things like, I am....⁣
so tired⁣
so busy⁣
stressed⁣
overwhelmed⁣
fat...⁣
⁣
Or do you say things like:⁣
-I am beautiful⁣
-I am confident⁣
-I am strong⁣
-I am healthy⁣
-I am talented⁣
-I am creative⁣
⁣
This caught my attention because I switched up my goal setting this year, after reading Atomic Habits by @james_clear, and wrote identity goals instead of goals that achieve some specific outcome.⁣
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Here are my 5 “I am” goals for 2020:⁣
⁣
1. I am a person who plans weekly and follows my calendar.⁣
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2. I am a wise steward of our financial resources and take time to think before spending.⁣
⁣
3. I am an intentional, consistent business owner.⁣
⁣
4. I am a passionate, fun wife.⁣
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5. I am growing healthier and stronger every day.⁣
⁣
I have specific habits for each of these goals that I'm tracking in my #bulletjournal⁣
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Are you setting goals this year? I'd love to hear what strategy you're using. 
Share your #2020goals with me in the comments.
My favorite book from 2019 is Atomic Habits by @ja My favorite book from 2019 is Atomic Habits by @james_clear. One concept in the book is building identity based habits.⁣
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A quote from the book, “True behavior change is identity change. When your behavior and your identity are fully aligned, you are no longer pursuing change. You are simply acting like the type of person you already believe yourself to be."⁣
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So I'm approaching my goals a bit differently this year. Instead of creating outcome based goals, I'm creating identity goals. I'll share them with you tomorrow.⁣
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I'm excited to use the Clear Habit Journal to track the new habits I'm working on, and bonus that it doubles as a Bullet Journal. ⁣
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I'm looking forward to using a #bulletjournal again. No matter how many other planners I try, I still love having a blank page to include anything I want. ⁣
A new year always makes me even more reflective th A new year always makes me even more reflective than normal. And reflection is my jam—thus the name of my blog (in case you were wondering). ⁣
⁣
Let’s rewind. There was a time in my life when I was homeless and had no food to eat for almost two months. After staying out in the winter cold, a friend of mine arranged for me to stay with her older sister who just happened to live in a drug house. Random people would come and go. Some spent the night. Every drug you could imagine was available. Many unspeakable things happened there. ⁣
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I used to be ashamed that this was part of my story. But not anymore. I look at it as evidence of how far I’ve come.  I'm the person I am today, not in spite of these hard circumstances, but in part because of them.⁣
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Life looks a lot different now. I own a business. I work for an amazing company. I’m a Certified Life Coach. I have the best husband, and beautiful children. ⁣
⁣
I used to hate myself. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲. And day by day, I'm finally learning to love myself.⁣
⁣
Don’t get me wrong. Life is still not easy. There are hard things in my life too. But I know I have the power to CREATE the life I want. ⁣
⁣
You do too. ⁣
⁣
Notice the 𝘠𝘌𝘛 at the end of this quote. It’s never too late to create the life you want. ⁣
⁣ 
I promise. It’s possible—𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬.
There’s a subtle mindset shift that happens when There’s a subtle mindset shift that happens when you stop putting things off and start taking small steps toward your goals.

No matter how far away change feels, it’s available to you now, and begins with your very next CHOICE.

Don’t choose to stay the same.

Identify one small step you can take today.

Make the choice to do things differently—one day at a time. One CHOICE at a time.

That’s how change happens.

Start with something small. Throw away the Christmas cookies. Cancel Netflix. Pay $10 extra to your credit card.  Call your mom. Try a new recipe.

What is one of your goals for 2020, and what is the first small step you’re going to take?

I’ll post mine in the comments. #2020goals
This is my 10th year choosing a #wordoftheyear

My word shapes my year, my months, weeks, days . . . and moments.

It affects my goals, focus, and decisions.

Some years I pick a more active word because I’m in a season of growing. Other years, I’ve needed more rest and rejuvenation and chose something softer.

2019 was a tough year for me. I decided in 2020 I want to take life less seriously, and experience more joy, play, and fun, so I chose lighthearted for my word.

Here are the words I’ve picked in previous years:

2012 - Shine
2013 - Courage
2014 - Nourish
2015 - Believe
2016 - Ease
2017 - Leap
2018 - Purpose
2019 - Connection

Have you picked a word yet?  I’d love to hear what you chose! Share your word with me in the comments below.

#DYD2019 #onelittleword2019 #lifecoach #lifecoaching #lifeonpurpose
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